Happy…but tired…but happy

 

I call this one, "Sanctuary."

I call this one, “Sanctuary.”

I had great intentions of writing a more in-depth post about some things rumbling around in my head, lately, but it’s takes too much energy and this week has me spent. Anyone else feeling like that?

So here’s a quick run down of some things that make me happy

Note: I’m purposely not adding friends and family because this list would get really long, but ya’ll know who you are that make me happy.

  1. Puppies. Especially those named after Seinfeld characters. RIP Uncle Leo!
  2. Red Moscato wine. Call me trashy, I don’t care!
  3. My green blanket
  4. Running
  5. Writing
  6. Watching cartoons with my son
  7. Netflix bingeing with my hubby
  8. Any form of baking with apples – Apple crisp or applesauce anyone?
  9. Disney princesses (and Disney movies, in general), there I said it!
  10. The show, Once Upon a Time. Don’t judge!
  11. Getting a jump start on the day. Alarm goes off at 4:45. Time to rise and shine! (and pass out at 9pm, promptly)
  12. Beyonce.
  13. This short clip of Jackson showing off his half yoga/half bodybuilder skills at my cousin’s wedding.

There’s a lot more, per usual, but I think that’s a pretty good list for now. Anything weird or funny make you happy today? Share it in the comments below!

Happy Sunday night, everyone.

If I were president…which is highly unlikely

Just chilling with my peeps...in a suit.

Just chilling with my peeps…in a suit.

Let’s be honest, I’ve never been one to reach for power positions. But I suppose I could impart some thoughts about holding office if that unlikely scenario should ever happen.

But just so we’re clear, I’m much more content to lurk in the shadows and tell stories about being a treasurer in 4-H or go into more detail about how I think the world is really going to end (no, it won’t be Ebola…but I haven’t completely ruled out a “Contagion”-like disease in lieu of nuclear fallout).

But to indulge you all, here’s what our country might look like if I were president.

#Bossbabes 

First thing’s first. I’d put more women in positions of power.  Seriously ladies, let’s get this country back in order. I’m a mother, I work full time, I’m writing a book, I manage to train for races AND I’m keeping pace with this blog while getting eight hours of sleep (yes, eight!). If I’m not even striving for power, think what a woman that was striving for power could do.

Solving the enamel crisis

I’d put more funding into creating a whitening strip that doesn’t hurt my teeth. I haven’t whitened in years because of my sensitivity issues, and I don’t feel like it’s fair.

Beyonce

Beyonce would be my BFF. That’s all there is to it.

Thanksmas

I would instate a pre-thanksgiving/Christmas season that starts on November 1. It’d be called, The “Thanksmas” season. If you want to keep your fall decorations up and focus on Thanksgiving, you certainly can. But if you’re like me and you want to start listening to Christmas songs on Pandora the day after you just got done listening to Thriller for the eighth time, you shouldn’t be ashamed of that. Listen to that Christmas music and put up a couple Christmas decorations in the spirit of Thanksmas…a time to celebrate the good in all holidays celebrated in November and December. (Disclaimer: Thanksmas stops the day after thanksgiving. Then, only Christmas decorations are allowed. And if you don’t celebrate any of this…that’s cool too!)

Veggie Pizza Day

I would dub  June 1, Veggie Pizza day. And I don’t mean the kind you get at Pizza Hut. No, it’s the kind that’s made with a garlic croissant base, lots of cream cheese and dill dip, a layer of cheese and then enough veggies to make you think it’s somewhat healthy (but we all know better). It’s delicious and you all should bow down and pay some respect, for goodness’ sake!

Red-tape-cutter-a-nator

I’d put funding into a red-tap-cutter-a-nator. No, I don’t mean literally cuts red tape. Red tape in the sense that whenever you want to get something worthwhile done there’s always a lot of red tape. Yes, processes are meant to keep us all in check, and I’m not saying this red-tape-cutter-a-nator wouldn’t abide by them, it would just speed up the process. Trying to get clearance to put in that pool? The red-tape-cutter-a-nator will allow your contractor to start tomorrow! Trying to figure out how to file your taxes and see how much you owe or will be refunded? The red-tape-cutter-a-nator will send you whizzing into next week with a satisfied CPA, a stack of paperwork already filled out and approved, and nice little check in your hands (because it also gives you refunds…all the time). In my line of work (I mean, my former line of work since I’m the president now), this would help me do my job a lot faster. And then I’d be putting out more content, and then I’d get bonuses for being so awesome. Happy day!

Bring back Diego

Finally, I’d find a way to take DNA from a tiger today and bring back saber tooth tigers. They would be bred as half domesticated pet, half lethal protector of the white house because it seems like our secret service could use a little more help these days.

diego and shira ICE AGE 4 CONTINENTAL DRIFT

Is this a presidency you could handle? Okay, maybe I skimped on the big issues, but cmon, these are issues that we DO have in our country…I’m just trying to go for the low-hanging fruit before I tackle the biggies.

What would your presidency look like?

 

WWBD (What Would Beyoncé Do): Definitive Answers to Tough Questions

Beyonce motivational image

Let me start by saying that if you’re not a fan of Beyoncé, then I don’t think you’ll like this post. And to weed out the haters, how about you just pop on over to an article about Beyoncé that’s more in line with your tastes: OVER IT: Beyoncé Not Perfect? 14 Signs The Singer May Be Overexposed And Not Actually Immortal. I won’t be offended. She isn’t for everyone.

Now, for all the Queen B supporters, let’s get down to business. I’m a big fan of Beyoncé. Of course I love her music. Of course I think she’s a strong female role model. Of course I think she’s a damn fine business woman. And of course I think she’s inspirational.

So it makes sense that I would ask her to help me with some of my toughest dilemmas. Below, she weighs in with some hard-hitting advice. And then I provide my own interpretation.

Join me, won’t you?

Q: Little man won’t eat the nutritious, delicious, cheese-filled meal I prepared for him. If he had his way, he would be sustained on yogurt and goldfish, alone. Should I be worried?

Beyoncé’s official response: (gives a hair flip, a sassy side eye, and pretends to do an imitation of her husband in “Dirt off your shoulder”) “Do what you were born to do. You just have to trust yourself.”

Beyonce gif: Single Ladies

My response to Bey’s response: Okay, I’m not sure if that applies to little man, or to me, but either way I think the message is “Yogurt has protein and goldfish are considered a carb. The kid won’t die on that diet.” Okay. Feeling better about tonight’s meal-gone-awry.

Q:  I had a really terrible run and I’m starting to question whether I can even consider myself a real runner. I’m so much slower than everyone else. Should I call it quits?

Beyoncé’s official response:  “When I’m not feeling my best I ask myself, ‘What are you gonna do about it?’ I use the negativity to fuel the transformation into a better me.”

Beyonce gif: Move your body

My response to Bey’s response: So what you’re saying is I should give up and try my hand at becoming an international pop sensation, right? Not even close? That’s fair…I know I couldn’t cut it. But I think what you’re saying is that I can get back out there and continue to run because giving up probably won’t accomplish much. Thanks Bey…you’re spot on.

Q: I’ve been doing what I do for a couple years now. I always wanted to write and I’m doing that (now professionally as well as for personal reasons), but sometimes I still question where my career is headed and where I truly want it to go. How do I know if I’m on the right path?

Beyoncé’s official response: “My goal was trusting myself, and my goal was growth. I believe I had to go through my miscarriage, owning my company, managing myself….Ultimately, your independence comes from knowing yourself…”

Beyonce gif: Crazy in love

My response to Bey’s response: You trailed off a bit there, but I think I get what you’re saying. It takes a lot of guts to follow your heart and do what you truly want to do, because it’s hard to trust that you know what’s best, even when bad things happen. But, you need to continue to trust and know that you’re on the right path. So basically, I should take my husband’s advice and not throw it all away for a life as an underwater ship welder.

Q: When things don’t go my way…whether that’s parenting fails or career flops or fitness ruts (or all three at once), what’s one piece of advice you have to help get me back on my feet?

Beyoncé’s official response: “If you’ve been doing all you can and it’s not happening for you, go out and have you a good old time. Put on your sexy dress and move on.”

Beyonce gif: Strutting

My response to Bey’s response: That sounds like a great plan.

Q: I don’t normally have ice cream in the house, but we bought it when family came to town and now it’s tempting me. Should I give in even though I’m trying to be healthier (Also note…it’s Sunday night)?

Beyoncé’s official response: “I always treat myself to one meal on Sundays when I can have whatever I want. Usually it’s pizza, which is my favorite indulgence.”

Beyonce gif: Swaying with Justin Timberlake

My response to Bey’s response: It’s so good to know that you’ve got your priorities straight. Excuse me while I go pig out.

Finally, if you got through this post and you’re secretly still not convinced that Beyoncé is “all that and a bag of chips” (finger snap), I dare you to watch this and not feel hope for humanity…

(Note: If the video doesn’t load, you can also watch it here)

Finally, the moral of this post is…

Be fierce, be yourself and trust that you’re on the right path.

 

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It's almost comical how exhausted I look I this picture. Or, how exhausted I am in this picture. I was the last one to teach today and those 30 minutes were equal parts fear and joy mixed with the bittersweet feelings of "an ending" coupled with the nerve-wracking energy that propels us into unknown "beginnings." These last 10 months have been emotional, joyous and introspective. I'm so thrilled to be a registered yoga teacher! So honored to have taught/learned/laughed/cried/danced/sang/practiced alongside my fellow teacher trainees. And feel blessed to have learned from Mel and Jes who poured their hearts and heads into this program. 💜 Do good. Be good. 🕉

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