Let me start by saying that if you’re not a fan of Beyoncé, then I don’t think you’ll like this post. And to weed out the haters, how about you just pop on over to an article about Beyoncé that’s more in line with your tastes: OVER IT: Beyoncé Not Perfect? 14 Signs The Singer May Be Overexposed And Not Actually Immortal. I won’t be offended. She isn’t for everyone.
Now, for all the Queen B supporters, let’s get down to business. I’m a big fan of Beyoncé. Of course I love her music. Of course I think she’s a strong female role model. Of course I think she’s a damn fine business woman. And of course I think she’s inspirational.
So it makes sense that I would ask her to help me with some of my toughest dilemmas. Below, she weighs in with some hard-hitting advice. And then I provide my own interpretation.
Join me, won’t you?
Q: Little man won’t eat the nutritious, delicious, cheese-filled meal I prepared for him. If he had his way, he would be sustained on yogurt and goldfish, alone. Should I be worried?
Beyoncé’s official response: (gives a hair flip, a sassy side eye, and pretends to do an imitation of her husband in “Dirt off your shoulder”) “Do what you were born to do. You just have to trust yourself.”
My response to Bey’s response: Okay, I’m not sure if that applies to little man, or to me, but either way I think the message is “Yogurt has protein and goldfish are considered a carb. The kid won’t die on that diet.” Okay. Feeling better about tonight’s meal-gone-awry.
Q: I had a really terrible run and I’m starting to question whether I can even consider myself a real runner. I’m so much slower than everyone else. Should I call it quits?
Beyoncé’s official response: “When I’m not feeling my best I ask myself, ‘What are you gonna do about it?’ I use the negativity to fuel the transformation into a better me.”
My response to Bey’s response: So what you’re saying is I should give up and try my hand at becoming an international pop sensation, right? Not even close? That’s fair…I know I couldn’t cut it. But I think what you’re saying is that I can get back out there and continue to run because giving up probably won’t accomplish much. Thanks Bey…you’re spot on.
Q: I’ve been doing what I do for a couple years now. I always wanted to write and I’m doing that (now professionally as well as for personal reasons), but sometimes I still question where my career is headed and where I truly want it to go. How do I know if I’m on the right path?
Beyoncé’s official response: “My goal was trusting myself, and my goal was growth. I believe I had to go through my miscarriage, owning my company, managing myself….Ultimately, your independence comes from knowing yourself…”
My response to Bey’s response: You trailed off a bit there, but I think I get what you’re saying. It takes a lot of guts to follow your heart and do what you truly want to do, because it’s hard to trust that you know what’s best, even when bad things happen. But, you need to continue to trust and know that you’re on the right path. So basically, I should take my husband’s advice and not throw it all away for a life as an underwater ship welder.
Q: When things don’t go my way…whether that’s parenting fails or career flops or fitness ruts (or all three at once), what’s one piece of advice you have to help get me back on my feet?
Beyoncé’s official response: “If you’ve been doing all you can and it’s not happening for you, go out and have you a good old time. Put on your sexy dress and move on.”
My response to Bey’s response: That sounds like a great plan.
Q: I don’t normally have ice cream in the house, but we bought it when family came to town and now it’s tempting me. Should I give in even though I’m trying to be healthier (Also note…it’s Sunday night)?
Beyoncé’s official response: “I always treat myself to one meal on Sundays when I can have whatever I want. Usually it’s pizza, which is my favorite indulgence.”
My response to Bey’s response: It’s so good to know that you’ve got your priorities straight. Excuse me while I go pig out.
Finally, if you got through this post and you’re secretly still not convinced that Beyoncé is “all that and a bag of chips” (finger snap), I dare you to watch this and not feel hope for humanity…
(Note: If the video doesn’t load, you can also watch it here)
Finally, the moral of this post is…
Be fierce, be yourself and trust that you’re on the right path.